Mindfully Nurturing Friendships

A great friend can be a source of many things—happiness, growth, a sense of stability in a chaotic world. Good friendships offer us a chance to express ourselves, to explore ideas. They offer us the opportunity to be seen and loved for who we truly are. A friend is a safe haven in the storm, someone to accompany us through this life, it’s great joys and it’s deep sorrows.

There is little more important to our mental well-being than knowing we have a strong community, friends we can turn to at any hour of the day or night. The negative health effects of loneliness have been well documented. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Friends also play a significant role in promoting your overall health. Adults with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI). Studies have even found that older adults with a rich social life are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections.”

While there is the rare relationship that needs precious little tending (“I hadn’t seen her in 5 years and we picked up just where we’d left off…”), lasting connection takes time, energy, and effort. We must invest in the people who make our lives rich and meaningful.

Here are some ways to mindfully nurture your friendships:

Be intentional about who you want to invest in. Who really sees you, supports you, loves you? Who challenges you to become the best version of your whole, beautiful self. Who picks up when you call them in tears from the bathroom floor? Who inspires you? Those are your people.

To have a good friend, you must first be a good friend. Reach out. Check-in. Listen. Everyone is hungry for connection. Be the one to pick up the phone.

Be willing to dive deep. Being vulnerable can be difficult, but sharing your own struggles and successes will allow your friends to open up, too.

Have standing friend commitments. Schedule a regular call to check in with your friend who lives across the country. Have a standing coffee date with someone who fills your tank. Send texts to check in with friends just to ask how they’re doing.

Remembering important dates. Birthdays, happy anniversaries, difficult anniversaries. Keep up with what’s going on in their lives. It lets people know you care.

We need one another. Let 2020 be the year you gather your people and tend to those relationships with care and intention.