On Listening and Learning

As a physician, listening is one of the most important parts of my job. I listen to patients that come into the ED to learn about what is troubling them, what is hurting them.

The world has changed drastically in the past few months between the global pandemic and calls for racial justice. In these two sweeping and ongoing events, the twin epidemics of the coronavirus and racism have converged.

Our newspapers list the death tolls from the coronavirus (143,000 in the United States as of this writing). They also list the names of Black men and women killed in this country, asking us to say their names. George Floyd. Breonna Taylor. Ahmaud Arbery. Tamir Rice. Trayvon Martin. Sandra Bland.

In a time when so many of us are unsure of what to do, one thing that we can do is commit to listening. To truly listen requires that we become humble. It requires that we listen to learn, that we listen without attempting to steer the conversation to topics that make us more comfortable. It requires that we recognize when we’re feeling defensive. It requires that we listen anyway. 

We must learn to sit with and learn about realities that make us uncomfortable and we must do it with openness and humility.

A lot of leadership development is about listening skills. This sort of training often focuses on not interrupting others, on nodding and making eye contact to show others that you’re present with them and that your mind isn’t wandering, on being able to recall a bit of what is being said to prove that you were paying attention.

But true, humble listening is about much more than that. It goes far beyond the show of listening. It is about really attempting to understand the person in front of you and what it is they want you to know.

White Americans, myself included, must really listen right now, leaving space for growth, change, and renewal. Only then can we do our best to learn about the root of the issues that are ailing us.